Decision Time.

What do I actually want?

Which would I rather live with Anorexia or Bulimia?

It seems I have to decide.

I want to be recovered from both, I want to be able to be healthy and happy.

But is that really, realistically ever going to happen?

I want to believe it will, I truely do.

Everytime I recover from one I relapse into the other.

I've been fighting off Anorexia for over a year, I am currently Bulimic.

I've been trying to fight off Bulimia for over a year, unsuccessfully.

I hate my body and myself, more than I ever have done.

Bulimia makes me want to die.

I don't want to die I want to recover, but nothing I do seems to work.

In my head it feels like I either choose to starve or to kill myself.

Starving is considered by some to be a slow suicide.

So I maybe the choice is do I die now or die later.

The choice of my life