Having things to look forward to.
That's what helps keeps me going.
But after London, what is there.
I don't have any plans after that.
Was just focusing on staying well.
So I would be safe enough to go.
After London, that worries me.
The thoughts will be stronger.
And I'll have less reason to stay strong.
Already told myself I could die after.
Just need to get the pills first.
Not sure whether I'll do it.
But the option is there.
Thinking I should tell CC.
Don't want her freaking though.
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