Anxiety.

Anxiety you can FUCK RIGHT OFF.

I won't allow you to control me.

Or my life.

Slipping.

I'm near the edge.

I can feel it.

On the verge of slipping away.

Down a deep path of chaos.

Another one.

That's the only way I know.

How to save me.

To stop one destruction.

I need to another.

Maybe I should tell A.

But maybe its all just trivial.

So maybe not.

I don't know.

I guess I'm scared.

No Self-Control.

I'm a broke girl.

Blew £700 in a week.

Have no self-control whatsoever.

It's embarrassing.

Absolutely pathetic.

Urges Fuck Off.

What is with these stupid fucking urges.

Apparently cutting off my finger is a good idea.

I swear to god it's driving me crazy.

Making me fucking shake.

Jeez, I got to chill out.

Benzo's I need you.

Stupid Urges.

Urge to shoot up.

FUCK OFF!

I ain't getting into that shit.

A Bit Of Positivity Maybe.

Actually done something.

The past day or so I have been slightly productive.

It's a total improvement on things.

Maybe a sign that things might be on the up.

Although I haven't done not so great in one area.

I've ordered some more Lorazepam.

But I got to give myself credit.

I lasted over a week without doing it.

Before eventually giving in.

I'm proud of that.

I know it doesn't sound like much.

But a week living in reality is fucking hard.

Especially when you've got a mind like mine.

But that is addiction for you.

We're all trying to escape.

Ruin My Life.

Food is officially ruining my life.

Your gonna be the end of me.

If things don't change.

Massacre.

I'm gonna lose it before long.

This eating disorder is driving me insane.

No matter how hard I try my eating is always fucked.

In one way or another.

It's really making me want to cut.

But if I do it'll be bad.

Like a fuckin' massacre. 

Break Up.

Think that was a rather lucky escape.

I'm kind of lost for words.

That ain't like me.

I do feel pain though.

I cared about her.

Heartbreaker.

I don't need this.

Added stress from my girlfriend.

She's meant to be supporting me.

Not making things harder.

I just dumped her.

Shit oh well.

Racing Thoughts.

My mind is racing.

From one thing to another.

Bad thoughts get the fuck out.

They're not even mine.

These thoughts are planted in my brain.

I'd be able to control them.

If I owned them.

I need to get rid of the evil planted in me.

It's a curse.

Pretty Please.

Can I have a bit of normality in my life.

Yeah chaotic is me.

And I am far from normal.

Quite one of a kind.

But is it too much to ask to be able to sleep?

I'm a loose cannon.

I need rest.

Pretty PLEASE.

Making Choices.

I have to make a choice.

Things have got to change.

I don't want to be this.

This was meant to be better.

It's not though.

Pills & alcohol & starving were.

It's real sad to see myself type that.

But its so true.

Thats the way I see it right now.

I hate myself so much.

More than usual.

Discharged.

Been in hospital for a while.

My first week out in the real world.

 I've really struggled.

I'm climbing the walls.

About to flip.

Just want to slash myself to pieces.

I'm losing it.

Everything is too much.

I can't deal with it all.