Chaos.

The past few days have been chaotic.
There has been positives though.
But I feel the negatives overshadow them.
Getting violent, punching D.
Purging mostly everything.
Cutting deeply.
At least I'm dissociated somewhat now.
The numbness is what I need.
I cannot tolerate much more.
Can't move soon enough!

Cutting.

I'm cutting again.
This is bad.
Do I want to stop?
I'm not sure.
Could I if I tried?
Maybe not.
It's so addictive.
The blood.
The rush.
Everything.

Placement.

So I got assessed today.
By the place in Nottingham.
Apparently it's likely to be a yes.
It's a high dependency unit.
Am I really that ill?