Plan Of Action.

So much self hate.

I need to change.

Stop the b/ping.

Restrict.

Exercise.

POA.

Two Strips.

Give me a pen and I'm creative.

Well I found it, it wasn't given.

Tore two strips off my sheets.

I'm way too pleased about this.

I can ligature if needs be.

Having something to harm with.

You have no idea how free that makes me feel.

I can finally just take the edge off.

Not yet, but at some point.

No Leave.

They screwed with me today.

Stopped my leave.

Kept me waiting for an answer.

For three whole hours.

Just to be told no.

I hadn't even done wrong.

I was just sad this morning.

But I did engage with staff.

How am I ever going to get home.

Can't even have 30 mins escorted leave.

It all seems hopeless.

Through And Through.

I'm not taking my meds properly.

Thankfully they haven't forced them yet.

And hopefully they won't.

I'm withdrawing from Venlafaxine.

I can feel it, the electric sensations.

Why I'm not taking it I don't fully know.

Part of it's due to me not being unwell.

So no need for happy pills.

I want to go through withdrawal. 

As horrible as it is I deserve it.

I am a bad person.

Through and through.

Inpatient.

Gosh it's been a while.

Currently an inpatient, detained on a Section 2.

It isn't helping, if anything I feel worse.

I'm sad, I'm very angry.

I'm fighting against the staff.

They are trying there best.

But I'm not unwell, I'm just a bad person.

Why will no one believe that!

It's rather frustrating.