Lost Keys.

I lost or maybe looking on the bright I may have just misplaced them.

Fuckidy fuck fuck.

And no spare keys cos there part of the police investigation.

Shea aint back till god damn tuesday.

And it aint even like I can afford a locksmith.

Cutting.

Just cut for the first time in a long time.

The pain is good.

But I want to go deeper.

I need more blood

Damn it its showing through my top.

I'm so fucked up.

Seize The Day.

Yeah mate,

Maybes going on hols soon.

With my angel.

Shes an absolute babe.

Don't know what I'd do without her.

Fat, Worthless, Pig.

Gross, Disgusting.

Fat, Worthless, Pig.

I need to die.

Meltdown Coming.

Feel like I'm on the verge of a meltdown.

Oh my days, what the hell.

Why are thing so damn hard.

I can't take it anymore. 

Fixing Myself.

I wish I could fix myself.

It makes me feel that I'm not good enough.

Especially when I'm trying my best.

Its even harder when theres so many difficulties to overcome.

Substance misuse, Eating disorder, Self harm, Trauma.

Anxiety disorder, Personality disorder.

Dissociative disorder.



Sick To Death.

Sick to death of things.

Am actually crying here.

What the hell is wrong with me.

Want things to end.

I don't want life.

Pills pills pills.

Withdrawal.

Fitting during withdrawal.

That was news to me.

I didn't even think I'd taken that much.

Get Back On The Wagon.

I think it's time.

Time to get back on the wagon.

And lose this damn weight.

I'm ready for a new me.

I can do this.



Push Away.

I was struggling before.

Big time.

Now more.

Its only natural given whats happened.

Being raped an all.

Of course things will be harder.

The CMHT still don't give a fuck though.

And the few people that are trying to help.

Well I'm just pushing away.

I'm too scared of being let down.

And I just don't feel worth it.